Child Spoiling 101

For the first time ever, my sister, Flo, allowed me the honor of keeping her daughter, Grace, for three days while she and her youth-minister husband romantically traveled to New Mexico for a mission trip and stayed in a homeless shelter. I wanted to update Flo on Grace's happenings.....

Dear Boog and Flo:

Grace's visit to the Beeler household was successful. She may indicate to you that she would prefer to live with us, which is what usually happens when we allow other children in our home and feed them lots of candy. Although it may seem that spoiling your child and breaking every rule you've ever implemented was one of my goals, I assure you it was not one of my goals. It was my only goal.

Monday morning was spent at bible study, and the girls enjoyed our church's large outdoor and indoor playground. Grace was rather impressed with the size of the playground equipment and asked why we "lived so close to the church?" I explained that people in the big cities oftentimes purchase a home close to their jobs, churches and schools, and that people in the country spend their time stepping around cow poop. She seemed rather satisfied by this explanation by saying, "we have to drive a long, long, long way to go to my church." Well, Jesus is worth it, sweetie.

Did you know that your daughter likes gum? Did you know that my gum tastes much better than the gum you give her because I let her chew it in the car? It is a well-known fact that I always have gum. And because I always have gum, my kids always want gum (especially when we get in the car). Grace was not going to be left out of that party....so I grinned an evil grin when I heard her say, "My momma never lets me chew gum in the car." I replied, "You poor baby. Aunt Ang will let you chew gum in my car any time you want, pumpkin." Or something like that.

We took a trip to the splash water park....which was really a fun time for all. The little girls took turns chasing Kellie-Laine around and pouring water on her. Grace was all smiles and giggles. Emerie's typical fearless spirit was in full force, and she occupied herself by seeing how long she had to hold her face in the water before I'd start running to perform CPR.

The grand finale of this outing was meeting another mommy at the park who had the most beautiful dog with her. "He won't bite and he's extremely gentle," she called to the girls as they ran to pet him. Then we introduced ourselves and turned around to find her dog murdering a squirrel with his mouth. The girls were fascinated with the lifeless squirrel who was sent to squirrel heaven by the non-biting, extremely gentle dog. The mommies assured the girls that the squirrel was only sleeping and that he would frolic away happily once we left him alone.

"He's dead." Landrie said. "Let's go swing!"

How do I argue with that?

We also visited Jumping Party. Grace loved it and even exclaimed, "I've never been to a place like this before!" when she beheld the giant blow up jumping houses that filled the warehouse. I have video of the slide that she and Landrie flew down. And I literally mean "flew down." Jumping Party is known for its super slippery slide, do you know why? Armor-All. They spray it on their slides, no joke.

Our final trip was to the pool at the Y, and we arrived just in time to see the lifeguards command everyone out of the pool because of floating poop. Oh, how I wish it was a Baby Ruth from Caddy Shack! But no....it was floating poop. Once the sanitation crew was finished, it was back to business and Kellie-Laine gave Grace and Landrie private swim lessons in the deep end, "without my floaties" Grace pointed out.

Just a few more tidbits for you:

--your child calls me "Miss Ang." Listen, I know she goes to daycare, but could you please explain to her the difference between her teachers and her aunt? I never corrected her, but at one point she said, "Get me some juice, Miss Ang" and I felt the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.

-- Grace was intrigued with the fact that I let my kids unbuckle themselves when we pull onto our neighborhood street. (Bad habit, I know, but my girls love hanging their heads out of the window like dogs!) Grace informed me that her "mommy never lets me unbuckle until we get home" to which I replied, "To hell with your mom!" And then we all cackled loudly as she climbed the roof of the suburban to do a little car surfing.

--Grace can play with baby dolls unlike anything I've ever seen. Even Landrie grew tired of the imaginative play and said, "Let's play something else, Grace." And Grace replied, "But my baby's still sleeping." So they continued on.....for three days straight.

--Grace is pretty convinced that you're having a boy and she wants to name him Trevor. I thought you'd be pretty ecstatic that she chose the name of your high school boyfriend.

--the trip home provided much insight into Boog's parenting skills. Out of the blue, Grace said, "My daddy says be a dog, and I be a dog. My daddy says be a turtle, and I be a turtle," For five minutes I heard everything from turtle, to dog, to pony, to bird, etc. Grace is one obedient child -- I would have given up on Boog's animal game after turtle.

In all seriousness, I really enjoyed having Grace around-- although at times I felt as though she and Landrie were merely tolerating me. She was kind and happy. She slept well and ate well. I'm so glad she and Landrie had the opportunity to bond as cousins, and I'm hoping that she'll come back soon.

I miss her already.