Landrie is an odd girl. I say this with the utmost respect and love for her. After all, she is my flesh and blood and, therefore, some of the oddity must come from either Cody or me. But she is odd, and I'm not sure how to parent her sometimes. Dr. Dobson's book, The Strong-Willed Child, talks about using discipline to "break the will; not the spirit" and this is a philosophy I subscribe to. But I'm not really talking about how to discipline....just what to do when Landrie's being...odd.
There are countless examples, but here is one of the more recent events. Every Wednesday, I work with our church's youth group on a project called, "Motion." Since Motion begins so early in the evening, my kiddos have to hang out with me in the sanctuary until they can go to their activities. It took Landrie a few weeks, but she has now completely warmed up to the Motion kids/parents/volunteers and she is free to be herself...in all her splendor and glory.
This past Wednesday, her full splendor and glory was on display for all to see. You see, Landrie has a big imagination. She loves imaginitive play....pretend play. So during Motion, she asked me to take her potty, which I did. When we returned to the sanctuary, Landrie bounded up on stage and sat quietly on the choir steps.
"Cool" I thought to myself, and I returned my attention back to the Motion kids. A few minutes later, out of the corner of my eye I saw Landrie stand up and do something that took my breath away. I can barely write it....but here goes. From the corner of my eye, I see Landrie stand up, bend her knees, and PRETEND TO WIPE HERSELF...front bottom AND back bottom. Then she pretends to wash her hands, and sits back down on the choir step to repeat this imaginary process of going "poo-poo" and "pee-pee".
Keep in mind she is on the stage....in the sanctuary...in the pulpit...God's holy place! Parents are watching...teenagers are dancing...I am crying.
Okay, work with me here. Who does this? What kind of child pretends in this way? Really. I'm not looking for comforting answers here...just honest truth. And, honestly, I was laughing inside, but pretty mortified at the same time. My friend, Adrielle, was there to witness the show the second time Landrie performed it. She was laughing, too, but I bet she secretly thinking, "Oh my gosh! I cannot believe that child just did that!!"
There are other examples, too. Landrie can sometimes be bi-polar. If she sees a friend outside of school, like the grocery store, she is oftentimes ugle=y. A normal child would run up to the friend and hug her or smile and wave....something friendly. But not Landrie. She will look at the friend and then say to me "Her look at me. I don't like her." See? Odd.
Another example is that she has an un-natural attachment to Cody. The first thing she says to me each morning is "Where's daddy?" Then she cries when I tell her he's at work. Then she will ask for him repeatedly throughout the day, and as the day draws on, she will begin to countdown the time until daddy comes home.
A final example is that she loves to wear clothing that is....um, how should I say this?....a little tramp-ish. Hooker-like. Her favorite is a rayon skirt of Kellie-Laine's. She will pull it up under her arms and wear it like a strapless dress. You can tell by the look on her face that she thinks she's pretty beautiful....twirling around...sashaying her bare, naked shoulders around the house. She knows better than to even ask to wear such atrocities in public, but the moment she gets home from school, she'll put it on. And, no, we do not let her watch Wives of Orange County or The Hills....I Tivo those and watch them when she's asleep. (Just kidding!)
There is an endless list to the odd things Landrie does. I just need to know how to parent them! Any advice? I took drugs when I was pregnant....legal ones. I was on Phenergen for about 18 weeks when I was trying to kick the morning sickness. Could this explain her abnormal behavior?
I am certain God uniquely designed Landrie to His liking. I'm just trying to figure out what grandiose plan He has for Landrie....wiping her front bottom and back bottom in the sanctuary of our church.