Saturday, April 5, 2008

Mommyhood Musings

I'm sitting here, alone, tonight enjoying a free evening to myself.

Cody took Kellie-Laine to the Final Four game in San Antonio tonight. Apparently, the Final Four is, like, a big deal....I, of course, did not realize this. And maybe that's why Cody chose to take Kellie-Laine instead of me. She knows the game's a big deal, and she'll be able to understand what's going on whereas I would be more focused on checking out the latest female trends of those around me. Oh, well. It's only 8:30 pm and I now have the entire evening to do whatever in the world I want....and that feels really great.



So one thing Cody and I have been discussing lately is the idea of his upcoming vasectomy. And it's still just that....an "idea." He's had one scheduled three different times now, and we've cancelled each one for various reasons. So according the laws of Murphy....I'm due to get pregnant any moment now. Ha!



Seriously though....how do you know when you're done having kids? Do you feel it? Do you just make the decision without really being sure? Do you quit when you've hit a certain number? There are many, many, many, many moments each day when I'm quite certain we are through having kids. But recently, Cody and I have had--independent of each other--thoughts about not really being sure we're done. Perhaps it's that Emerie is so, so fun right now. She is just a joy. It's also so neat to see Kellie-Laine and the little ones interact together. Each milestone Emerie hits, is met with awe and sadness because it may be the last milestone I'll ever note.


On the other hand, Cody and I are ready to have some "alone time" again. We haven't been on a big trip together....without kids...since our honeymoon. (We've had a few little weekend trips thanks to my sister, though!). We've also committed to private schooling our kids, which means big $$$ to make this happen. Three kids in private school is tough, and about the time Landrie hits 10 years of age...we'll have two kids in private school and one in college!! I better start thinking about getting a job! Are finances a reasonable reason to stop having kids? It seems selfish.... And I musn't forget about the day-to day grind that isn't always so rosy. Did I mention that two weeks ago Emerie managed to take off her diaper in her crib and enjoyed the freedom to "go poop" without the plastic barrier? I've survived so much it seems: terrible two's, tragic three's, colic, morning sickness, mastitis, countless stomach bugs, visits to the ER, etc. But you know what they say about the Lord's mercies being new each morning.....


Many of my friends have said, "you'll know when you're done" so if I don't really feel convinced right now, does that mean we should leave that door open? I guess until God tells us otherwise, we'll just prop that door open...just an inch....and see what happens.


For now, here are some photos for you to enjoy of my three beautiful, wonderful, fun girls!



3 comments:

Flo and Grace said...

OK...well, I've got an idea. Since you don't want to raise another one, but still want to enjoy having milestone moments, just be a surrogate for me (since apparently my ovaries are shut down) and come and see the baby when they take steps, laugh, poop, etc.! : )

#4??? I don't know!Do you have the time?

Juli said...

Awwww.... I know we're not done yet. Although sometimes I feel like I'd LIKE to be when Lucy's waking up all night long. I really feel like there are one or two more children out there for us, I'm just not sure when they'll be coming to join our family.

Summer said...

I am new to your blog.
Summer P. from monday mornings. I have to say, awesome!
About your post, Some very good friends of our have 3, 2 girls and a boy. They had them very close together and then declared themselves "done". However, as they grew, they were very definitely not done. Now they are struggling with adoption (thought about reversal-expensive)and all the other issues that come along with this lovely desire to pro-create.
My sister-in-law has loved "Mirena". I don't know that much about it.
If you have doubts, don't go there!
God will give you peace.
I say all that having 2 of my own plus for the last year having one extra, making that 3, and am currently pregnant again.
Some things have to go. Some things just take more time.
Do remember, one day they will be grown up, gone and give you 10 grandkids!! to enjoy.
God Bless you and your family.